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I'm Going to a Party

I'm going to a party
My good friends I will meet;
Someone will pick me up
For I can't walk up the street.

I'll bathe my weary body
And wash and curl my hair
Then manicure my fingernails
With the utmost care.

Now I'll crawl into my brace and pull the laces tight -
Hook it up and pull it, so I'm standing up just right!
Next comes the outsize bra,
MUCH bigger than a "C" -
But it holds my boobies up
Just where they ought to be.

Now come shoes with good supports,
As expensive as can be.
But they hold my arches up
And that's good enough for me.

Then I'll put my glasses on -
Bifocals, if you please,
So that I can read to you lines such as these.

Was it worth the effort?
I will say, "You bet!"
As long as I am held together
I won't give up - just yet!

- Myrtle Storm, 1983

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